Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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