No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
