Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
