does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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