so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
