You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
