How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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