Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
