How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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