I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
