Already got asked if we're dating
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
