i used baking grease as lip gloss
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
