just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
