I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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