I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
