Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
