He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
