Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I need to calm my uterus...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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