Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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