I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
