yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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