all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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