When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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