I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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