So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Randomize
