The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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