I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
