just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
