Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
