the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
