Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
