No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
