I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
