exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
