Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
