I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
