so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
