JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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