I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
