I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
