I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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