the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
that's an acceptable place to lick
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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