Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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