He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
