I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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