Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
