Ambien. No doubt about it.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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