your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
