the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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