just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
