guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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