is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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