hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
